Whenever my friend was struggling with life, I was the “go to” guy. If something happened that seemed extremely unfair, I was the one that heard the venting because I would just sit there and listen. And, when it appeared to be the right time, I would do my best to offer constructive feedback on how to change the situation and make it better.
While I am eternally grateful to be there when my friend is in need, it struck me that there was an awful lot of complaining going on and not much fixing of the circumstances. This meant that there was a tremendous amount of energy being directed toward focusing on the negative, leaving my friend stuck and unable to move. However, if that same amount of energy was used to actually rectify the situation and make it better, just imagine what could happen!
At the beginning of each day, we are all given 100 percent of our energy to use as we see fit.
So, if we choose to take 30 percent of our energy and spend it complaining about everything we have to do or how someone wronged us, then that only leaves us with 70 percent of our energy to focus on the good things in life—the things that will actually benefit us, like marking an item off our never ending to-do list or taking a class to further our education and put us in line for that promotion at work.
The more we spend our time directing our energy at negatives, say 50, 75 percent or more, then that is even less to put toward doing things that will get us unstuck and progressing forward. That makes this even more imperative for truly transforming the lives of people who tend to look more often at life’s ills than life’s little treasures.
This applies to most any area of life. For example, if you are working on losing weight and always talking about how hard it is and how you would rather be eating pizza with friends than going to the gym, then that is energy that is being needlessly spent. It is energy that could have been used to actually help you through your exercise routine so that you become stronger, healthier, and more likely to live a longer life.
If it is a relationship that sends you to your friend to share what “he did” or “she didn’t do,” well, that energy could be redirected back into the relationship instead. That way, instead of giving your struggling partnership 20, 30, or 40 percent of your leftover energy, you are fixing it with everything you’ve got, giving it the best chance possible of succeeding.
So, the question is, where are you directing your energy?
Are you using every last morsel of it to change your life for the better and handle whatever hurdles you are putting in your path, or are you using it to blow off some steam, leaving you very little to deal with the root cause of your struggles?
I’d love to hear how you have used your energy for the better. Share your comments below!