Whether we’ve just met someone for the first time or we’ve been in a long-term relationship with that person, we tend to judge them to a degree. We make generalizations or assumptions about their character, their beliefs, and their values based on their actions and how we perceive them. And while this is totally understandable as it’s basically human nature, it can frequently work against us as it prevents us from growing…which is partially why I was struggling with this exact issue during a recent workshop weekend.
On this particular weekend, I was having difficulty focusing on my own inner obstacles and was instead stuck in a cycle of blaming and judging those around me…something that, like I said, I work hard to avoid. Usually I’m pretty successful at it, often using inspirational and motivational figures like the Dalai Lama to help guide me in the right direction. After all, it’s likely that he still judges the people in his life—if only for an instant—yet it’s also equally as likely that he’s able to simply let that judgment go, which is precisely what I was working on doing, but struggling to figure out how.
I shared my dilemma with another man at this retreat, to which he said, “What would the Dalai Lama do?” His question was simple, but it really got me thinking. When I was having a hard time living my life the way I wanted to live it, I needed to ask myself this very same thing to help me figure out what I needed to do to get wherever it was I wanted to be. In this case, I needed to invoke my inner Dalai Lama.
When I feel stuck in a cycle of judgment and blame against others, instead of letting that cycle consume me, tossing me around like a tornado does any object that is in its path, I need to ask myself what the Dalai Lama would do if he was in my position. How would he respond if in the same situation? What actions would he take? What actions would he not take?
Then I need to do it. This puts the power back where it belongs…with me. It stops the cycle of endless spinning (and wasting a lot of energy), and gets me moving forward again to wherever it is I want to go. And it gives me inner peace at the same time, making it a much easier space to live in.
Whether you aspire to be like the Dalai Lama or some other person who motivates you to want to be the best version of yourself possible, when you’re faced with a situation, one that you’re having difficulties overcoming, simply ask yourself what that person would do. How would they respond? What actions would they take?
Then, again, most importantly, do them. Take back your power and use it to break whatever cycle has its hold. You’ll feel better, more in control, and more peaceful when you do.