Have you ever had someone break your heart, shattering it into tiny pieces like a crystal glass that’s been dropped on a marble floor? Of course you have. We all have. And what’s the one thing you want to do when something like this happens? Well, other than plot some type of sweet revenge.
If you’re like most people, you probably want to do whatever you can to move as quickly as possible through this negative emotion, this feeling like it hurts to even breathe. That way, you can get to the happiness that you know is on the other side faster, once again able to go about your days with a smile on your face instead of the frown from the intense heartache that you currently feel.
While that type of response is certainly understandable (who wants to stay in pain?), it’s not necessarily a bad thing to give yourself some time to actually feel your feelings. Not that you need to cry 24/7 or have some type of emotional breakdown when something happens in your life that leaves you feeling blue, but there’s nothing wrong with letting yourself experience sadness, or any other “negative” emotion for that matter either. In fact, it may just help.
When you let yourself experience what you’re feeling without judging it or trying to push it away, then you’re able to better realize what that particular emotion is telling you. You’re able to pay closer attention to the energy in your body, helping you more clearly see why it’s making you feel the way you do.
For example, if you’re angry about a recent interaction you’ve had with someone in your life, what is it about that interaction that ticked you off? Was it something that the other person said or something they did? And why did it trigger you so intensely?
Taking the time to sit with your feelings and analyze what specifically brought them about puts you in a better position to be able to deal with them. And it helps you deal with them more effectively because you’ve taken the time to truly understand why you feel the way you do.
Plus, if you look back to different events that have happened in your life, you’ll likely see that it is through the negative ones—the ones which brought about sadness, anger, or fear—that you were actually able to grow. This is because, often, it takes us feeling uncomfortable in some capacity to help push us wherever it is we want or need to go.
You see it all of the time with people who didn’t achieve great things until they first hit rock bottom. The satisfying career didn’t come until they were fired from their last job or they didn’t meet the love of their life until after someone else broke their heart.
Remember this the next time you feel angry, sad, frustrated, rejected, depressed, afraid, or some other not-so-pleasant emotion. Take the time to sit with that feeling. Pay attention to what it’s telling you. Learn from it and grow from it. Believe it or not, it’s the fuel that will propel you to greater heights in your life.